So that’s it folks-8 dates as promised. (Although, accomplished in a year and not the few months as I originally anticipated).
I still plan on dating, and periodically writing about it but I feel good about what I accomplished and I definitely put myself out of my comfort zone. I no longer fear rejection but simply see it as a way of life.
I have plenty more stories, especially regarding the crazy messages I’ve received over the past few months. So check back in because as I now realize, dating is anything but dull!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Date 8: A tale of a man and his stache…
First and foremost: I MADE IT, DATE #8 BABY! Bittersweet I guess considering I’ve hit a wall. I prob could make it the 80 date update if I really wanted to but I’ll play it by ear… My first online date felt like a zillion years ago (when in fact it was only about a year ago). I do have to admit, I’ve gotten pretty date savvy during this experience. I also, know more about what I’m looking for and what I’m not and I’ve kinda had fun in a weird unexpected way. I’ve learned how to deal with rejection and take something from it but more importantly, I’ve learned how to be the rejectER! Overall, I think this was a positive life experience for me and one that has made me a wiser women.
Dating optimism, that’s what it’s all about. I’m trying to think outside the box when it comes to my date choices. I think the following date fit less in a box and more in a shiny disco ball. Open-mindedness can get you into trouble sometimes.
Date #8 ironically was my least favorite of all. It’s prob a good thing I’ve successfully completed my dating mission because I think my fairly good skills at selecting dates was diminishing! Date 8 was a great in theory. He was pre-med and working as an EMT and I thought he had great potential. So, when I saw his posted profile pictures consisted of some very prominent and disconcerting facial hair, I figured I could either see past it, or secretly hoped he has shaved it off predate and underneath was a fur free hottie. Not so much, that date initially had been rescheduled multiple times do to our crazy schedules. Once we were to meet he let me know that first he was running about 15 min late when he then showed up 30 min late. As he was riding up I noticed two sets of handlebars-one on the bike, the next on his face. In all honesty I kept thinking while I was waiting that I’m really more of a Clooney stubble king of facial hair girl and less of a Burt Reynolds, needing to comb it kind of facial hair girl. I said to myself, I CAN look past this small well not that small) thing. He’s hardworking, nice and FURRY I thought, really really furry. I just couldn’t do it. As we were eating our Gelato I was just praying he didn’t spill any cause if that man licked the gelato off his upper lip fringe, I was so outta there. I felt slightly shallow, but everyone’s got their standards I suppose. Our date was over in about half an hour. (Good Gelato though)
Lesson Learned: Whatever you may call them: stache, tache, tash, mo, soup strainer, flavor saver, cookie duster, molestache, I’m just not into them!
Date 7: You, me and some Karaoke (Summer lovin style…)
I want to start the intro to this date by asking, what the hell is up with guys and not paying for first dates lately? I understand that this is 2011 and feminism, and equality and blah blah but it’s the FIRST date already! I’m happy to pay my way through dates 2 through infinity but I consider dutchin on date numero uno as a complete turn off. I’d assume there are two major reason’s behind a man not paying, one: He’s cheap and somehow justified in his head that women want to pay themselves or two: He’s going on more first dates then he would care to pay for time after time. Neither option makes me think to myself, wow-this guys a keeper! So little tip for all you fellas out there, if you go dutch on the first date, be prepared for the girl to consider you a cheap skate…
I vent because out of the 7 total dates I have had, only 2 guys have actually paid for it! (Including the following guy)
Me and Karaoke guy had a total of two dates. First one, I was pretty please with myself for being so adventures. I tried calamari (I still think taste like fried feet-which is most likely exactly what it is) Then I took his suggestion and ordered a jalapeno margarita which is basically burns the throat for not one but two reasons (tequila and jalapeno juice). Bad idea! I think I scored a second date solely for being such a trouper. Second date was dinner/drinks and then some upscale Karaoke. Actually, it was in a dive Sushi bar-which was probably for the best! Let me start by saying: I DON’T sing. I’m not even the kind of person who thinks they can sing in the shower. I’m horrible. After about an hours worth of persuasion from my date that I can’t be “that bad” and there was not even anyone around (there was a good 15 people for the record) I picked out an old school Lisa Loeb song. While I started the night sweaty with anticipation and nerves, 4 beers and some relentless peer pressure later from my date and the locals, -I was feeling ready for my performance. I’m not sure how I did really, since I’m pretty sure I blacked out during half of it but, no one left so I consider that a good sign : ) I not only made it through my song of choice but hastily agreed to a little “summer lovin” duet with my date. I thought we really kicked ass but was told by the KJ (Karaoke Jockey for all you Karaoke virgins) that we accidently sang the opposite parts. Oops, no wonder I was wondering when Sandie’s part got so dirty). Needless to say, I think my temporary phase of putting myself out of my comfort zone is over and I’m ready to drink margaritas sans the jalapeño, eat fried stuff the ways its intended (as a potato) and keep my questionable singing voice all to myself. Overall, I’m glad I had the experience-seeing as though I paid for every bit of it. But I think I’m still looking for someone who enjoys what I enjoy (and fried tentacles are not on that list)!
Lesson learned: Margaritas/Jalapeno’s, Batter/Seafood, Singing/Me are things in life that should NEVER EVER mix!
I vent because out of the 7 total dates I have had, only 2 guys have actually paid for it! (Including the following guy)
Me and Karaoke guy had a total of two dates. First one, I was pretty please with myself for being so adventures. I tried calamari (I still think taste like fried feet-which is most likely exactly what it is) Then I took his suggestion and ordered a jalapeno margarita which is basically burns the throat for not one but two reasons (tequila and jalapeno juice). Bad idea! I think I scored a second date solely for being such a trouper. Second date was dinner/drinks and then some upscale Karaoke. Actually, it was in a dive Sushi bar-which was probably for the best! Let me start by saying: I DON’T sing. I’m not even the kind of person who thinks they can sing in the shower. I’m horrible. After about an hours worth of persuasion from my date that I can’t be “that bad” and there was not even anyone around (there was a good 15 people for the record) I picked out an old school Lisa Loeb song. While I started the night sweaty with anticipation and nerves, 4 beers and some relentless peer pressure later from my date and the locals, -I was feeling ready for my performance. I’m not sure how I did really, since I’m pretty sure I blacked out during half of it but, no one left so I consider that a good sign : ) I not only made it through my song of choice but hastily agreed to a little “summer lovin” duet with my date. I thought we really kicked ass but was told by the KJ (Karaoke Jockey for all you Karaoke virgins) that we accidently sang the opposite parts. Oops, no wonder I was wondering when Sandie’s part got so dirty). Needless to say, I think my temporary phase of putting myself out of my comfort zone is over and I’m ready to drink margaritas sans the jalapeño, eat fried stuff the ways its intended (as a potato) and keep my questionable singing voice all to myself. Overall, I’m glad I had the experience-seeing as though I paid for every bit of it. But I think I’m still looking for someone who enjoys what I enjoy (and fried tentacles are not on that list)!
Lesson learned: Margaritas/Jalapeno’s, Batter/Seafood, Singing/Me are things in life that should NEVER EVER mix!
Date 6: Nice guy take a hike…
Since my online dating subscription ended after date #5 I decided to take a little break. A few months later, I think the adrenaline of it all might have made me a slight dating addict and I decided to join an all new, free dating website. The selection of men on this site was definitely 1) a lot more vast 2) Creepier 3) Getting laid oriented. I was not very impressed with the quality of the men and the website appeared to have a more quantity over quality theme to it. After a month or so I was contacted by a nice, seemingly quite type whose was interested in meeting a local vegan venue (yes, he was a Vegan…) We had a decent time and went hiking for an hour or so that day and then had a second date where we went bowing but I noticed there was much of a connection. I should note that for our first date-as I was about to head out to vegan’s R us, my car decided to not start (stupid battery). So I quite literally had to ask him to jump me before our first date. The fact that he had jumper cables and was a good sport solidified the second date for sure.
Lesson learned: Just cause he’s nice, doesn’t mean he’s for you. Oh, and vegan food taste like air.
Date 5: Won't be Mrs. Lagasse…
My fifth date (and the guy I went on the most dates with thus far) was with a guy who claimed he was a “chief”. Girls will tell ya that when you are wading through the dating waters one of the most highly sought after male professions to date is the chief. (Coming in right before the mechanic, cause most us girls know how much we could give a crap about maintaining our car). Well, he did like to cook but as I soon realized, his official position was “line cook” for a local brewpub. Any illusions of romantic candlelit gourmet dinners and a “bam” of a different nature were replaced with the in’s and outs of the ideal way to cook a beer pretzel and lectures on various types of complimentary mustard. To be fair, it was a good few months before I realized he was not the next Curtis Stone and he did cook me a few very nice dinners. (Although, I found a few stray dog hairs and I am not really inclined to frequent his place of employment anytime soon). Upon reflection, I held out longer on this one to legitimize my online dating experience but like most things in life, things came to there natural conclusions.
Lesson learned: Do not date a guy because of his profession (especially ones that might have starred in they’re own segment of Dirty Dining).
Lesson learned: Do not date a guy because of his profession (especially ones that might have starred in they’re own segment of Dirty Dining).
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Nice guys might finish last but apparently so do mentally stable girls…
I recently had my last online dating encounter with a guy we shall call Steve. I started corresponding with him a week or so before my subscription ended so I knew this would be the last guy I would be meeting in this way . I have to say, this guy seemed great on paper, he was a traveler, photographer, business owner and we seemed to have a lot in common. (Did I mention he was pretty good looking as well?) The only downside I saw prior to our date was he was a little on the shorter side for my taste (5’9) but hey, I’m not exactly Gisele Bundchen in stature so I said what the heck. Prior to this date, I was making myself incredible nervous not only because this guy totally seemed like my cup a tee but because my subscription was ending and I was becoming increasingly aware that I have officially only had 1 second date!
He gave me HIS phone number (which should have been an indication of what was to come) so I proceeded to call him and leave a super crappy, anxiety ridden message. What the heck was my problem? He called me back and we had a short kind of awkward convo and agreed to meet up for Indian food on his side of town (another indication) the next week. The big day arrives and I did what any nervous girl going out with a good looking, successful guy does, I spent a good couple hours getting ready for the date. I had a glass of wine, gave myself a good once over and thought (presumptiously) I had this date in the bag.
The drive to the restaurant was so butterfly inducing the thought of consuming Indian food was growing increasingly unappetizing. When I got to the restaurant, we gave each other a hug and sat down. Yay, I thought-hard part over, the rest should be a piece of cake! We were having such great conversation prior to dinner the waiter came to take our order about five or six times but we kept forgetting to look at our menu (mind you, he was talking at least 51% of the time before you get the wrong idea.) We ordered and joked with each other during dinner and he had some funny stories about internet dating and girls in general which I didn’t really fully comprehend AT THE TIME.
Next, he asked if I wanted to grab a beer so we walked to a nearby brewery and continued getting to know each other and joking around. After about three hours of hanging out, we walked to our cars and called it a night. We both stated we had fun and I said I’d see him soon. To clarify I thought the date had gone extremely well. Our conversation was interesting and we had plenty to talk about. We had a nice report going and I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary that would warrant blowing me off. Well, HE apparently did! I waited a few days to hear from him, didn’t hear anything, and started to get a sense that I wasn’t going to. I emailed him saying I had a nice time and attached an article relating to a bet we had going. He got back to me with only a sentence or two. I knew where this was heading, no second dateville-that’s where! WTF, he obviously knew what I looked like (all my 15 plus pics are fairly recent, and Photoshopless) and I don’t think it was a personality thing, seeing as though we exchanged numerous witty emails, so what gives? Because I had nothing else to lose, I felt compelled to find out what the heck happened. So here is the following conversation verbatim via text: (about two weeks later)
Me: Do you have any interest in going out again? (I needed myself some closure.)
Him: Hey, I think just as friends would be best for me. Otherwise good luck on your dating search : ) (WTF-what a jerk face.) Did he not pre-screen the crap out of me prior to the date? Friends yeah, how insulting, every instinct I had could not NOT respond this time!)
Me: No thx-im more into the whole getting laid thing ; ) good luck with yours! (Sorry Mom-it was more to make a point then anything else.)
Him: Ha. Thanks that made me laugh pretty good : )
Now, the sheer humiliation of being put in the “friends” category should have made me convert to lesbianism or maybe crawl into a hole and die but I didn’t and here is why. I actually thought more about our exchanges and realized, this guy had some issues. Remember the part where he shared some his dating stories? Well, I was so blind-sided by his good looks, great life resume and fact I was no longer a part of the internet dating world I neglected to actually take in what he was REALLY telling me.
The following two stories are the actual ones he told me:
1st story: “I met a girl from the Internet once and wasn’t very attracted to her. We had a great time and had some really good conversation but there just wasn’t a lot of chemistry. I wasn’t planning to go out with her again but she called and asked me-so I thought, why not? I mean, I didn’t want to be shallow or anything. We hung out, she brought us to this really romantic spot with a great view, and I decided I would try to kiss her and see if there is anything there. I kissed her and swear to god I almost threw up! She was all teeth that girl.”
What I was thinking at the time:
This guy is so nice he was trying not to be shallow. He tried to see if there was anything there. Nice boy with pretty eyes., so so pretty. Hmmm, what about throwing up????
What I realize now:
The guys a jerk. He went out with this girl AGAIN that he knew he wasn’t attracted to and then tried to kiss her. She was the one pursing him and he had no objections. What an ego feeder. Did he stop and think that when a girl has the nerve to ask a guy out and then plans a romantic date and then almost gets thrown up on that SHE might not want to go out with him again? In all honesty, it was a slight punch in the stomach that he went out with vomit inducing girl again but stated he and I would be best as “friend’s” Whatever, who like a guy with a weak stomach anyway!
2nd story: “My first girlfriend was a little crazy. She was really into music and the arts and stuff but pretty crazy. After we broke up, I found out that she was trying to get pregnant while we were together and was on all sorts of drugs and stuff. But I still really cared about her. We almost got married. She ended up having a baby with the next guy she dated. Man, I could be a Dad right now!”
What I was thinking at the time:
This guy is so nice. He made a commitment to help this crazy girl. He obviously doesn’t have commitment issues. Are his eyes brown or hazel? Are those dimples I see? I love me a man with dimples. Hmmmm… what about drugs and babies?
What I realize now:
The guy is obviously attracted to drama. He dated someone that was beyond crazy and apparently taking drugs and almost married this chick. Any guy who not only almost marries this type of girl but also is still talking about her years later has his own issues. If he is attracted to this type of girl, but doesn’t even want a second date with someone sane and non-manipulative-like myself, I am pretty OK with not hanging out again. You may have pretty brown, hazel eyes and dimpley checks, pretty traveling boy but it looks as though you need to get your relationship priorities in check. (Plus you're short-so there!)
Lesson learned: For every girl that loves herself a bad boy out there there’s a guy that loves himself a bad girl. I’m proud to call myself a sane, normal, good(ish) girl. That’s your therapy session Mr.! Also, rejections a bitch yes, but what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Life’s full of rejection, not everyone you meet is going to instantaneously fall in love with you, get over it (oh, and make yourself feel much better by putting it all in blog format ; )
He gave me HIS phone number (which should have been an indication of what was to come) so I proceeded to call him and leave a super crappy, anxiety ridden message. What the heck was my problem? He called me back and we had a short kind of awkward convo and agreed to meet up for Indian food on his side of town (another indication) the next week. The big day arrives and I did what any nervous girl going out with a good looking, successful guy does, I spent a good couple hours getting ready for the date. I had a glass of wine, gave myself a good once over and thought (presumptiously) I had this date in the bag.
The drive to the restaurant was so butterfly inducing the thought of consuming Indian food was growing increasingly unappetizing. When I got to the restaurant, we gave each other a hug and sat down. Yay, I thought-hard part over, the rest should be a piece of cake! We were having such great conversation prior to dinner the waiter came to take our order about five or six times but we kept forgetting to look at our menu (mind you, he was talking at least 51% of the time before you get the wrong idea.) We ordered and joked with each other during dinner and he had some funny stories about internet dating and girls in general which I didn’t really fully comprehend AT THE TIME.
Next, he asked if I wanted to grab a beer so we walked to a nearby brewery and continued getting to know each other and joking around. After about three hours of hanging out, we walked to our cars and called it a night. We both stated we had fun and I said I’d see him soon. To clarify I thought the date had gone extremely well. Our conversation was interesting and we had plenty to talk about. We had a nice report going and I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary that would warrant blowing me off. Well, HE apparently did! I waited a few days to hear from him, didn’t hear anything, and started to get a sense that I wasn’t going to. I emailed him saying I had a nice time and attached an article relating to a bet we had going. He got back to me with only a sentence or two. I knew where this was heading, no second dateville-that’s where! WTF, he obviously knew what I looked like (all my 15 plus pics are fairly recent, and Photoshopless) and I don’t think it was a personality thing, seeing as though we exchanged numerous witty emails, so what gives? Because I had nothing else to lose, I felt compelled to find out what the heck happened. So here is the following conversation verbatim via text: (about two weeks later)
Me: Do you have any interest in going out again? (I needed myself some closure.)
Him: Hey, I think just as friends would be best for me. Otherwise good luck on your dating search : ) (WTF-what a jerk face.) Did he not pre-screen the crap out of me prior to the date? Friends yeah, how insulting, every instinct I had could not NOT respond this time!)
Me: No thx-im more into the whole getting laid thing ; ) good luck with yours! (Sorry Mom-it was more to make a point then anything else.)
Him: Ha. Thanks that made me laugh pretty good : )
Now, the sheer humiliation of being put in the “friends” category should have made me convert to lesbianism or maybe crawl into a hole and die but I didn’t and here is why. I actually thought more about our exchanges and realized, this guy had some issues. Remember the part where he shared some his dating stories? Well, I was so blind-sided by his good looks, great life resume and fact I was no longer a part of the internet dating world I neglected to actually take in what he was REALLY telling me.
The following two stories are the actual ones he told me:
1st story: “I met a girl from the Internet once and wasn’t very attracted to her. We had a great time and had some really good conversation but there just wasn’t a lot of chemistry. I wasn’t planning to go out with her again but she called and asked me-so I thought, why not? I mean, I didn’t want to be shallow or anything. We hung out, she brought us to this really romantic spot with a great view, and I decided I would try to kiss her and see if there is anything there. I kissed her and swear to god I almost threw up! She was all teeth that girl.”
What I was thinking at the time:
This guy is so nice he was trying not to be shallow. He tried to see if there was anything there. Nice boy with pretty eyes., so so pretty. Hmmm, what about throwing up????
What I realize now:
The guys a jerk. He went out with this girl AGAIN that he knew he wasn’t attracted to and then tried to kiss her. She was the one pursing him and he had no objections. What an ego feeder. Did he stop and think that when a girl has the nerve to ask a guy out and then plans a romantic date and then almost gets thrown up on that SHE might not want to go out with him again? In all honesty, it was a slight punch in the stomach that he went out with vomit inducing girl again but stated he and I would be best as “friend’s” Whatever, who like a guy with a weak stomach anyway!
2nd story: “My first girlfriend was a little crazy. She was really into music and the arts and stuff but pretty crazy. After we broke up, I found out that she was trying to get pregnant while we were together and was on all sorts of drugs and stuff. But I still really cared about her. We almost got married. She ended up having a baby with the next guy she dated. Man, I could be a Dad right now!”
What I was thinking at the time:
This guy is so nice. He made a commitment to help this crazy girl. He obviously doesn’t have commitment issues. Are his eyes brown or hazel? Are those dimples I see? I love me a man with dimples. Hmmmm… what about drugs and babies?
What I realize now:
The guy is obviously attracted to drama. He dated someone that was beyond crazy and apparently taking drugs and almost married this chick. Any guy who not only almost marries this type of girl but also is still talking about her years later has his own issues. If he is attracted to this type of girl, but doesn’t even want a second date with someone sane and non-manipulative-like myself, I am pretty OK with not hanging out again. You may have pretty brown, hazel eyes and dimpley checks, pretty traveling boy but it looks as though you need to get your relationship priorities in check. (Plus you're short-so there!)
Lesson learned: For every girl that loves herself a bad boy out there there’s a guy that loves himself a bad girl. I’m proud to call myself a sane, normal, good(ish) girl. That’s your therapy session Mr.! Also, rejections a bitch yes, but what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Life’s full of rejection, not everyone you meet is going to instantaneously fall in love with you, get over it (oh, and make yourself feel much better by putting it all in blog format ; )
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
5 and counting…
Its official, my internet dating subscription has come to end! Unfortunately, (or fortunately for blogging purposes) I have not met the man of my dreams. While I had fairly low expectations I have to admit I was pretty disappointed by the outcome. Out of the 5 men I pre-screened, re-screened, emailed, called, and arranged to meet, a strong mutual connection has yet to be made. I am really starting to understand why the most recent “Bachelor” ended up going home without a fiancé even while having 15 available women. I have managed to come out of this interesting phase of my life with slightly lower self-esteem, the ability to strongly question the normalcy of men in this world, a intense almost murderous hatred for any and all winking and 60 buckaroos lighter. Man, oh man am I turning into an internet-dating cynic! So there it is, I came, I saw and I virtually disappeared. (On the bright side, I didn’t catch any viruses ; ) JK-a lil internet humor!!!
There were some upsides to this little adventure of mine; I got to go on a couple fun dates (who knew there was indoor putt putt?) I learned a lot about the opposite gender and dating games (guys REALLY do not like emailing back and forth!) A few of the fella’s actual sent me perfectly respectable and at times flattering emails (thanks Momma for the pretty eyes.) Lastly and most importantly, I learned some things about myself and what I am and am not looking for.
The following is a list of things I am looking for:
*-An outdoorsy guy who likes to travel (European travel stories make me drool with jealousy and intrigue!)
*-A guy who has the unmentionables to call prior to the 1st date and also right after to say he had a good time (If you like someone, stop playing games and suck it up and call.)
*-A good sense of humor (If you don’t laugh at my outlandish and self-deprecating brand of humor, you gotsta go.) Extra points if you tell funny jokes or make me laugh!
*-Good manners (Don’t make me question whether you were born in a barn.) P.S-If your new women comes to your house for the first time, put the toilet seat down and clean your bathroom, your welcome not to but I can guarantee it’s going to be a quick date!)
*-A car, house, and decent job (come on, you have to have some standards.)
-Intellectual/well read (If ALL you talk about is your car, beer or sports, I’m super bored.)
*-Passion and hobbies (Doesn’t matter what they are-just have one or two!)
Some things I am not looking for: (or are not as important as I thought)
-Pretentiousness, smugness, excessive cockiness etc… (You may be rich, good-looking, semi famous, extremely talented or some combo but who really cares if you’re a total jerk face)
-Height (well, I manage to shave off a few inches at least!)
-A guy who doesn’t pay (At least on the 1st date. Come on guys, don’t give me any feminism BS-you do realize you still get paid more right?
-Someone who lives in a specific area of town (turns out there are interesting people all around the city, who knew?)
-A total texter, or person who is ALWAYS on his phone. (Hope that phone keeps you warm at night buddy!)
While my lengthy list may seem a little like, wow girl no wonder your single, I really, really don’t think my expectations are that high in the grand scheme of things. If they are, oh well because I have a lot to offer myself minus all the annoying baggage (I made sure to * all the things I feel I can offer as well.) As you can see, I have learned a lot in the last few months about myself and people in general. While I am walking a fine line of dating cynicism, I officially vow to not become jaded. The way I see it I have met 5 guys out of what, 5 million? So, I didn’t meet that perfect guy for me, he’s out there and I’m ever the more determined to find him, in my own time, by my own rules. It may not be on the internet but I have a feeling there’s more stories to tell…
Lesson Learned: Internet dating CAN be a waste of time and money but even if you don’t meet your soul mate, there are plenty of things to learn in the process.
There were some upsides to this little adventure of mine; I got to go on a couple fun dates (who knew there was indoor putt putt?) I learned a lot about the opposite gender and dating games (guys REALLY do not like emailing back and forth!) A few of the fella’s actual sent me perfectly respectable and at times flattering emails (thanks Momma for the pretty eyes.) Lastly and most importantly, I learned some things about myself and what I am and am not looking for.
The following is a list of things I am looking for:
*-An outdoorsy guy who likes to travel (European travel stories make me drool with jealousy and intrigue!)
*-A guy who has the unmentionables to call prior to the 1st date and also right after to say he had a good time (If you like someone, stop playing games and suck it up and call.)
*-A good sense of humor (If you don’t laugh at my outlandish and self-deprecating brand of humor, you gotsta go.) Extra points if you tell funny jokes or make me laugh!
*-Good manners (Don’t make me question whether you were born in a barn.) P.S-If your new women comes to your house for the first time, put the toilet seat down and clean your bathroom, your welcome not to but I can guarantee it’s going to be a quick date!)
*-A car, house, and decent job (come on, you have to have some standards.)
-Intellectual/well read (If ALL you talk about is your car, beer or sports, I’m super bored.)
*-Passion and hobbies (Doesn’t matter what they are-just have one or two!)
Some things I am not looking for: (or are not as important as I thought)
-Pretentiousness, smugness, excessive cockiness etc… (You may be rich, good-looking, semi famous, extremely talented or some combo but who really cares if you’re a total jerk face)
-Height (well, I manage to shave off a few inches at least!)
-A guy who doesn’t pay (At least on the 1st date. Come on guys, don’t give me any feminism BS-you do realize you still get paid more right?
-Someone who lives in a specific area of town (turns out there are interesting people all around the city, who knew?)
-A total texter, or person who is ALWAYS on his phone. (Hope that phone keeps you warm at night buddy!)
While my lengthy list may seem a little like, wow girl no wonder your single, I really, really don’t think my expectations are that high in the grand scheme of things. If they are, oh well because I have a lot to offer myself minus all the annoying baggage (I made sure to * all the things I feel I can offer as well.) As you can see, I have learned a lot in the last few months about myself and people in general. While I am walking a fine line of dating cynicism, I officially vow to not become jaded. The way I see it I have met 5 guys out of what, 5 million? So, I didn’t meet that perfect guy for me, he’s out there and I’m ever the more determined to find him, in my own time, by my own rules. It may not be on the internet but I have a feeling there’s more stories to tell…
Lesson Learned: Internet dating CAN be a waste of time and money but even if you don’t meet your soul mate, there are plenty of things to learn in the process.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Top 10 potential New Years resolutions for online daters…
10) Make Glamour shots appt. 2010 profile pics are so out!
9) Post New Years Eve party pic. How else do you utilize that golden beer bong shot?
8) Meet soul mate online. Go on date with soul mate, reject soul mate and do it all over again.
7) Get married-Girl. Get laid-Guy
6) Start exercising…your eyes! How else are you able to wink all day everyday?
5) Email 100 people. Hey, statistically you should get at least one response, right???
4) Change profile from: smoking habits-occasionally to no way, body type-curvy to athletic and toned and drinking habits-frequently to socially.
3) Vow to respond to a douchy email and put that loser in it’s place. It’s super not cool to scare people by sending psychotic emails.
2) Don’t renew your subscription. 6 months of online dating is 5 months to much. A very enlightening experience but one can only drink, wink, and think so much before it’s time to reenter the real world.
1) Start a blog and rip on online dating. Very therapeutic and a hell of a lot cheaper then that psychiatrist you’ve been thinking about seeing. (I love you DatesRUs!)
Lesson learned: My subscription may almost be over, but I have a feeling there’s more to come…
9) Post New Years Eve party pic. How else do you utilize that golden beer bong shot?
8) Meet soul mate online. Go on date with soul mate, reject soul mate and do it all over again.
7) Get married-Girl. Get laid-Guy
6) Start exercising…your eyes! How else are you able to wink all day everyday?
5) Email 100 people. Hey, statistically you should get at least one response, right???
4) Change profile from: smoking habits-occasionally to no way, body type-curvy to athletic and toned and drinking habits-frequently to socially.
3) Vow to respond to a douchy email and put that loser in it’s place. It’s super not cool to scare people by sending psychotic emails.
2) Don’t renew your subscription. 6 months of online dating is 5 months to much. A very enlightening experience but one can only drink, wink, and think so much before it’s time to reenter the real world.
1) Start a blog and rip on online dating. Very therapeutic and a hell of a lot cheaper then that psychiatrist you’ve been thinking about seeing. (I love you DatesRUs!)
Lesson learned: My subscription may almost be over, but I have a feeling there’s more to come…
Monday, December 20, 2010
Douchy Dude's 2nd email...
Remember late night cookie monster? Heeeeee's back! Read on for email #2. I let the 1st dumbass email slide, but I just couldn't resist responding to his futile 2nd attempt! Heres the convo word for word:
he said December 04
Hello. Do you believe in life after love? Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind. The other thing that comes to mind is chocolate chip cookies. You say you can cook. I've got a full glass of milk over here and no cookies. It is absolutely killing me. Ask yourself; what can you do for me about this predicament?
he said 10 hours ago
I noticed that you like ugly cute dogs. Do you like ugly cute men? I've never given it much thought, but people really do like pugs. Maybe if I got plastic surgery I could get a pug nose. Would you be more into me if I did that. Maybe I could do it myself. Full of ideas tonight.
you said Just Now
RE: Subject
My liking of ugly cute things stops at dogs, although at times, the words dogs and men can be somewhat interchangeable I suppose. I’m also not a huge fan of self-inflicted surgery, prob better to leave that to the professionals, wouldn’t you say? Speaking of professionals, with your tendency towards self mutilation-you might want to go see one. Take care of yourself, Mr. Beaverton!
Lesson learned: Wack jobs need not apply-especially those who mention surgery, knives, mutilation etc...
P.S- Date #4 this afternoon, keep you posted, hopefully this one can keep his wacko thoughts in check! If not, at least it makes for good reading : )
he said December 04
Hello. Do you believe in life after love? Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind. The other thing that comes to mind is chocolate chip cookies. You say you can cook. I've got a full glass of milk over here and no cookies. It is absolutely killing me. Ask yourself; what can you do for me about this predicament?
he said 10 hours ago
I noticed that you like ugly cute dogs. Do you like ugly cute men? I've never given it much thought, but people really do like pugs. Maybe if I got plastic surgery I could get a pug nose. Would you be more into me if I did that. Maybe I could do it myself. Full of ideas tonight.
you said Just Now
RE: Subject
My liking of ugly cute things stops at dogs, although at times, the words dogs and men can be somewhat interchangeable I suppose. I’m also not a huge fan of self-inflicted surgery, prob better to leave that to the professionals, wouldn’t you say? Speaking of professionals, with your tendency towards self mutilation-you might want to go see one. Take care of yourself, Mr. Beaverton!
Lesson learned: Wack jobs need not apply-especially those who mention surgery, knives, mutilation etc...
P.S- Date #4 this afternoon, keep you posted, hopefully this one can keep his wacko thoughts in check! If not, at least it makes for good reading : )
Monday, December 6, 2010
Stupid Email #2
"Hello. Do you believe in life after love? Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind. The other thing that comes to mind is chocolate chip cookies. You say you can cook. I've got a full glass of milk over here and no cookies. It is absolutely killing me. Ask yourself; what can you do for me about this predicament?"
This particular idiodic email was recieved at 2am on a Fri night.
Lesson Learned: Beware of late night losers. Replace milk with tequila and that sounds about right. This guy doesn't need a girlfriend, he needs a sponser!
This particular idiodic email was recieved at 2am on a Fri night.
Lesson Learned: Beware of late night losers. Replace milk with tequila and that sounds about right. This guy doesn't need a girlfriend, he needs a sponser!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday morning note…
I am going to post my latest email I received (verbatim.) I swear I did not alter this email whatsoever-I like when the boys just go ahead and write my blog for me, makes my life easier! So the following is just a taste of the men to choose from. I have to say, I’m not sure whether to completely disregard this obviously mass produced email or write back due to being both pretty clever as well as saying what I’m sure most guys (and girls really feel.) Let me know what you think… (P.S) I have yet to see his pics due to reading this on my wk computer (the pics don’t show up and they frown upon internet dating while on the clock) so I thought I’d get opinions before I check this dude out!
"Friday morning note...
Frequenting a dating homepage always seems like frequenting a bar with too many guys. Too many low-quality guys take aim at not-quite-enough high-quality women, and the result is utter failure for everyone concerned. The women's Inboxes get inundated. The men's Inboxes remain empty. The quality guy is drowned out by the clamour of the idiot. Any vaguely attractive woman has so many tongue-lolling introductory e-mails she can't filter through them all.
So even though dating sites favour the women, and though I'm at a biological loss here, so to speak, I will still do my little Bird of Paradise mating dance and try to attract a quality mate.
Now, there's nothing more tedious than some new, unknown guy droning on about how great he is. So I will try to outdo them all and paint myself as some sort of Adonis/ God's-Gift-To-Women. Here goes.
I am: well-read (mostly economics & history, a lot of classics); sincere (people close to me will always know how I feel about something); honest (I can't be bothered to lie; causes too much chaos); sweet (as in, I'm overly cute and have too many Ghibli and Pokemon paraphernalia around my house); athletic (I lift kettlebells all the time); outdoorsy (long hikes and car-camping, or even overnight trips on foot); well-traveled (been to 4 of the 7 ancient wonders of the world; been deported once); socially aware (no longer dump my used motor oil into the Willamette and got myself a compost bin); multi-lingual (can communicate in about four languages); moved to do something meaningful for the world (want to save global finance); family oriented (call the 'rents and the sibs all the time); lucky to have great friends (best in the world, though only a few of them live here); and, comfortable around others (can be socially acceptable and non-threatening, with enough preparation).
Ho pefully, I can: challenge you to be a better person (without me being a bitch about it); make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose (my sense of humour has been described as dry or witty); make you smile (cheese!); and, bring you romance (um... a bouquet of roses and a six-pack of 211 Steel Reserve?).
I think that's me. Somewhat. Perhaps. Maybe. Who knows?
So if you'd like to get to know me... perhaps by a few e-mails back and forth and then, tentatively, perhaps a coffee or a lunch date or two and moving toward, shock!, an adult beverage in a dank bar ... feel free to write back.
:-)
-g
ps. I normally work 6am to 1pm, hence the early hour of this note. -GCE"
Lesson Learned: Hey, I won’t knock the guy-he was right about most of it. (Except the part of women being able to be so picky.) I know realize that it’s just as exhausting for multiple reasons dating on the internet as in everyday life. I think I’m gonna marry myself like Sue Sylvester did on Glee!
"Friday morning note...
Frequenting a dating homepage always seems like frequenting a bar with too many guys. Too many low-quality guys take aim at not-quite-enough high-quality women, and the result is utter failure for everyone concerned. The women's Inboxes get inundated. The men's Inboxes remain empty. The quality guy is drowned out by the clamour of the idiot. Any vaguely attractive woman has so many tongue-lolling introductory e-mails she can't filter through them all.
So even though dating sites favour the women, and though I'm at a biological loss here, so to speak, I will still do my little Bird of Paradise mating dance and try to attract a quality mate.
Now, there's nothing more tedious than some new, unknown guy droning on about how great he is. So I will try to outdo them all and paint myself as some sort of Adonis/ God's-Gift-To-Women. Here goes.
I am: well-read (mostly economics & history, a lot of classics); sincere (people close to me will always know how I feel about something); honest (I can't be bothered to lie; causes too much chaos); sweet (as in, I'm overly cute and have too many Ghibli and Pokemon paraphernalia around my house); athletic (I lift kettlebells all the time); outdoorsy (long hikes and car-camping, or even overnight trips on foot); well-traveled (been to 4 of the 7 ancient wonders of the world; been deported once); socially aware (no longer dump my used motor oil into the Willamette and got myself a compost bin); multi-lingual (can communicate in about four languages); moved to do something meaningful for the world (want to save global finance); family oriented (call the 'rents and the sibs all the time); lucky to have great friends (best in the world, though only a few of them live here); and, comfortable around others (can be socially acceptable and non-threatening, with enough preparation).
Ho pefully, I can: challenge you to be a better person (without me being a bitch about it); make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose (my sense of humour has been described as dry or witty); make you smile (cheese!); and, bring you romance (um... a bouquet of roses and a six-pack of 211 Steel Reserve?).
I think that's me. Somewhat. Perhaps. Maybe. Who knows?
So if you'd like to get to know me... perhaps by a few e-mails back and forth and then, tentatively, perhaps a coffee or a lunch date or two and moving toward, shock!, an adult beverage in a dank bar ... feel free to write back.
:-)
-g
ps. I normally work 6am to 1pm, hence the early hour of this note. -GCE"
Lesson Learned: Hey, I won’t knock the guy-he was right about most of it. (Except the part of women being able to be so picky.) I know realize that it’s just as exhausting for multiple reasons dating on the internet as in everyday life. I think I’m gonna marry myself like Sue Sylvester did on Glee!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Count down till Jan…
I officially canceled my dating website account. So take that DatingRUs, you have failed me! The account ends in Jan so I feel as though I have exactly 2 months to use the website for some social experimentation. This list I have complied a top 10 list of is how I plan on further researching the fabulous world of online dating…
Top 10 ways to turn a dating website into your own personal research study:
10) Profile pic Mon: Turtleneck, no make-up and big smile. Profile pic Wed: Low cut blouse, sultry eye shadow and coy head tilt. Fri: Count wink differences.
9) Use the headline: “Single girl ready to have fun” and then change to: "looking for the one” Count emails received for each.
8) Change your profile pic to the hottest girl you can find, email any quy who blew you off stating you would like to meet for drinks. Blow them off.
7) Email at least one guy who under normal circumstances you might not have been interested in. (Hey, you never know-Mr. I’m not your type could turn into Mr. Now your typeless.)
6) Put please don’t wink me in profile. See if guys wink.
5) Add I will only date guys who make above $100,000 to profile. She if you get ANY emails.
4) Have 10 pictures on profile, all of cats. Email 20 guys. See if any reply.
3) Pick the hottest guy on the website and wink furiously. See how long before he files an internet restraining order.
2) Note interests as being, Witch Craft, Restraints and Watching Dexter. Any replies?
And the number one way to use a dating website for your own personal research:
1) Profile pic for everyday of the week: Monday: Me and Ex. Tues: Me sporting a thumbs up sign. Wed: Me and Jose (That’s Quervo-not another Ex!) Thurs: Cell phone pic taken by me in the mirror. Finally Fri: Me and beer bong with ex, self taken photo, flipping the bird. Tally up guys interested in each pic. Email them back and inform them they’re super douchee and make John Goseling look like Brad Pitt.
Lesson learned: When all else fails, it’s perfectly fine to use online dating a form of social experimentation. Note to Letterman: It’s all yours!
Top 10 ways to turn a dating website into your own personal research study:
10) Profile pic Mon: Turtleneck, no make-up and big smile. Profile pic Wed: Low cut blouse, sultry eye shadow and coy head tilt. Fri: Count wink differences.
9) Use the headline: “Single girl ready to have fun” and then change to: "looking for the one” Count emails received for each.
8) Change your profile pic to the hottest girl you can find, email any quy who blew you off stating you would like to meet for drinks. Blow them off.
7) Email at least one guy who under normal circumstances you might not have been interested in. (Hey, you never know-Mr. I’m not your type could turn into Mr. Now your typeless.)
6) Put please don’t wink me in profile. See if guys wink.
5) Add I will only date guys who make above $100,000 to profile. She if you get ANY emails.
4) Have 10 pictures on profile, all of cats. Email 20 guys. See if any reply.
3) Pick the hottest guy on the website and wink furiously. See how long before he files an internet restraining order.
2) Note interests as being, Witch Craft, Restraints and Watching Dexter. Any replies?
And the number one way to use a dating website for your own personal research:
1) Profile pic for everyday of the week: Monday: Me and Ex. Tues: Me sporting a thumbs up sign. Wed: Me and Jose (That’s Quervo-not another Ex!) Thurs: Cell phone pic taken by me in the mirror. Finally Fri: Me and beer bong with ex, self taken photo, flipping the bird. Tally up guys interested in each pic. Email them back and inform them they’re super douchee and make John Goseling look like Brad Pitt.
Lesson learned: When all else fails, it’s perfectly fine to use online dating a form of social experimentation. Note to Letterman: It’s all yours!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Greetings and Salutations…
That is seriously what my last online dating email started as. Maybe I am being way to picky, but just starting an email like this makes me queasy. I tried to look past the intro, I really did and some might argue I am looking for things to dislike about these guys but really, could you ever waking up day after day to a man that’s like “Greetings and salutations this fine morning honey!” I mean come on, the greetings is one thing-but once you have already greeted me and then felt the need to salutate me, I have fully lost interest in the contents of your email! Slim pickens I tell you…
The email prior that the guy felt the need to express to me that I “be cute” His email read the following, Hi, I’m illiterate… and “I liked you profile and just wanted to email you and say YOU BE CUTE.” Yeah, well-you be rejected, dorkous.
I am really trying to be less judgmental and more open-minded but I vow not to lower my standards to the point where I’m dating a guy that uses the word salutations and thinks I be cute. I’m officially adding those two to the list of no deal guys. Along with, shirtless profile pic guy, multiple winker guy and ex frat boy beer bong picture guy.
Lesson learned: Whatever you say in the subject line of your email is a pretty good indicator of your future with someone from a dating website. That and the word salutations should never ever be used, with the exception of maybe the subject line of your cover letter and even that’s pushing it!
The email prior that the guy felt the need to express to me that I “be cute” His email read the following, Hi, I’m illiterate… and “I liked you profile and just wanted to email you and say YOU BE CUTE.” Yeah, well-you be rejected, dorkous.
I am really trying to be less judgmental and more open-minded but I vow not to lower my standards to the point where I’m dating a guy that uses the word salutations and thinks I be cute. I’m officially adding those two to the list of no deal guys. Along with, shirtless profile pic guy, multiple winker guy and ex frat boy beer bong picture guy.
Lesson learned: Whatever you say in the subject line of your email is a pretty good indicator of your future with someone from a dating website. That and the word salutations should never ever be used, with the exception of maybe the subject line of your cover letter and even that’s pushing it!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Maybe I just will make it to 8 dates!
So I may have unwilling signed up for 3 more months of internet dating. How was this done unwillingly you ask? Well, I got an email from PayPal today saying “thank you for your payment for (dating website.) Apparently if you sign-up for three months and don’t cancel, they will just tack on three more months. Sneaky dates R us website, but I still plan on canceling! In the meantime, I might possibly have a second date w/ bowling boy. We hadn’t really spoken much over the last week or so but I got a message from him last night wondering if I wanted to get together over the weekend. I thought I would change things up and actually have a second date, so I agreed.
I don’t really have the details yet but it feels kinda good to anticipate a date w/ someone where 1) I now know what the heck they REALLY look like. (For all those people that are disillusioned into thinking people look like the pictures they post on these websites-they have another thing coming once they actually meet someone in person.) Most people have managed to collect the best 4 or 5 pictures of themselves over the last 10 years (myself included.) Some people aren’t even really the same ones as the picture (thanks a lot www.NoSecondDate girl-I mean guy!)
2) We are not as nervous because of all the 1st date anticipation/pressure. I actually took it upon myself to look up, “what not to say on a first date” on the internet prior to the first meeting. If your curious, it was all pretty logical like (for women), “don’t talk about your desires to have 16 children”, or “how you keep an ex boyfriend voodoo doll under your bed”, and how “you hope he likes the color blue because you’re pretty sure that will be the accent color at your wedding.” For men the advice consisted of: Steer clear of comments regarding bodily fluids and functions, flatulence may be fun to talk about with your buddies but it’s pretty guaranteed women do not find it sexy. Restrict comments about sports, video and computer games, while your would of war craft game might be fun for you to play, the majority of women can care less about your dungeons or your dragons. Lastly, it’s advised that if men see a women hotter then their current date, they steer clear of saying” wow, that is the hottest chick I have ever seen! Women’s summary: keep the crazy inside until at least the 3rd or 4th date! Men’s summary: Don’t treat your date like your frat bro Steve.
I will update you on the first second date! (Interesting, there is not much research on second dates) Guess it’s all about being your own uncrazy, non-crude self!
Lesson Learned: Second dates have the potential for being way more fun then the first, Dates R Us is sneaky and basically charges you for being the loser that can’t find someone it the time frame originally allotted, and the internet isn’t that great for pre-date research!
I don’t really have the details yet but it feels kinda good to anticipate a date w/ someone where 1) I now know what the heck they REALLY look like. (For all those people that are disillusioned into thinking people look like the pictures they post on these websites-they have another thing coming once they actually meet someone in person.) Most people have managed to collect the best 4 or 5 pictures of themselves over the last 10 years (myself included.) Some people aren’t even really the same ones as the picture (thanks a lot www.NoSecondDate girl-I mean guy!)
2) We are not as nervous because of all the 1st date anticipation/pressure. I actually took it upon myself to look up, “what not to say on a first date” on the internet prior to the first meeting. If your curious, it was all pretty logical like (for women), “don’t talk about your desires to have 16 children”, or “how you keep an ex boyfriend voodoo doll under your bed”, and how “you hope he likes the color blue because you’re pretty sure that will be the accent color at your wedding.” For men the advice consisted of: Steer clear of comments regarding bodily fluids and functions, flatulence may be fun to talk about with your buddies but it’s pretty guaranteed women do not find it sexy. Restrict comments about sports, video and computer games, while your would of war craft game might be fun for you to play, the majority of women can care less about your dungeons or your dragons. Lastly, it’s advised that if men see a women hotter then their current date, they steer clear of saying” wow, that is the hottest chick I have ever seen! Women’s summary: keep the crazy inside until at least the 3rd or 4th date! Men’s summary: Don’t treat your date like your frat bro Steve.
I will update you on the first second date! (Interesting, there is not much research on second dates) Guess it’s all about being your own uncrazy, non-crude self!
Lesson Learned: Second dates have the potential for being way more fun then the first, Dates R Us is sneaky and basically charges you for being the loser that can’t find someone it the time frame originally allotted, and the internet isn’t that great for pre-date research!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Fellow Blogger Tribute
From time to time, one has to pay tribute to their fellow dating bloggers: I will do that now my offering you this extremely amusing link: http://nofirstdate.com/
All I have to say is, yeah...that's about right
oh and come on guys, a lil dignity! lol
All I have to say is, yeah...that's about right
oh and come on guys, a lil dignity! lol
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Maybe all this blogging has given me bad Karma?
So, I am in my last month of internet dating and I officially might have to change the title of this blog to 3-date update. (I really didn’t choose 8-date update for any logical reason; I just thought it sounded best!) I feel like the longer you are on these websites the less popular you get. I guess that’s understandable really, considering I don’t know how many duplicate winks I get and I think, k-the first wink got you nowhere buddy, do you really think a double wink is gonna do the trick ; ) ; )
I noticed things were taking a turn for the worst when I processed to have a conversation with “P-TheButcher! Now upon reflection, why in the world would I sink so low as to even think about having a convo with a person whose chosen screen name alludes to the fact that he may or may not mutilate living creatures on a daily basis? Crazy or not I decided I need to either raise my standards or stop all this internet dating all together! I mean come on, how many chicks can one score with that kind of screen name? If he is able to get a date alone with him, she can only have two expectations, this guy chops up livestock for a living or she’s not making it to the end of the date, that’s not the kind of date I look forward to. (Damn Dexter marathons may be getting to me!)
So after contemplating changing MY screen name to A-The Annoyed I decided to add skitzo screen names to my list of men to avoid at all costs. I moved on to guy with a much less serial killeresque screen name and have had a few convo’s with him. He seems great; our first phone convo lasted 2 hours. Unfortunately, I am becoming a bit more cynical and less optimistic about potential man dates then I was at the beginning. In the back of my head I am fully aware that all the pre-date fun can potentially lead to a post-date rejection (by either person) so I am cautiously optimistic, I mean three is my lucky number and they say three times a charm. We shall see if third guy sticks around!
Lesson learned: Proceed with caution. (Especially seeing as though there are guys calling themselves P-TheButcher out there!)
I noticed things were taking a turn for the worst when I processed to have a conversation with “P-TheButcher! Now upon reflection, why in the world would I sink so low as to even think about having a convo with a person whose chosen screen name alludes to the fact that he may or may not mutilate living creatures on a daily basis? Crazy or not I decided I need to either raise my standards or stop all this internet dating all together! I mean come on, how many chicks can one score with that kind of screen name? If he is able to get a date alone with him, she can only have two expectations, this guy chops up livestock for a living or she’s not making it to the end of the date, that’s not the kind of date I look forward to. (Damn Dexter marathons may be getting to me!)
So after contemplating changing MY screen name to A-The Annoyed I decided to add skitzo screen names to my list of men to avoid at all costs. I moved on to guy with a much less serial killeresque screen name and have had a few convo’s with him. He seems great; our first phone convo lasted 2 hours. Unfortunately, I am becoming a bit more cynical and less optimistic about potential man dates then I was at the beginning. In the back of my head I am fully aware that all the pre-date fun can potentially lead to a post-date rejection (by either person) so I am cautiously optimistic, I mean three is my lucky number and they say three times a charm. We shall see if third guy sticks around!
Lesson learned: Proceed with caution. (Especially seeing as though there are guys calling themselves P-TheButcher out there!)
Friday, September 10, 2010
Post # 7 I’ve been neglectful to my 8DateUpdate blog followers (all 3 of you ; )
So, I’m on my second of 8 date updates and I feel like I have entirely to far to go. This process has been more exhausting then I anticipated. Not that I am complaining that I get to go out and get to know virtual strangers over beer and putt putt but it really is both time consuming and a little self deprecating. After a no call from my first date I was apprehensive about this whole process but I got an email from my fav online potential date and I thought, what’s one more. Well, one more led to a second no call. What the heck, it’s hard not to take this rejection thing pretty personally.
Second date, we’ll call him Nick, took place at a local beer and pool place and I thought it had gone fairly well. Nick and I had several pleasant phone calls prior and upon meeting him, I really felt a connection to the guy. He was outdoorsy and had a good job, and we seemed like we had a lot in common. After our date I was confident in the call back.
After 4 or 5 days passing, my confidence had taken a major hit. No call, no text, no email of any kind. Now I had a significant dilemma, do I let it go (again) or do I try to initiate some kind of communication since I in fact actually wanted to see this guy again. After about a day of going back in forth, I was all to curious in why I was being rejected so I sent a short text asking what Nick was up to for the weekend? You know the saying, curiosity killed the cat-it didn’t… it just killed the self esteem. No return text, just a short email the next day explaining Nick had recently got out of a 5 year relationship and was not quite ready to start dating again and according to him we were not a “perfect match.” Hey Nick…if you aren’t ready to start dating again, try not joining a DATING website! Anyway, after much over analyze of the situation and some slight self-loathing and even a little insight into my own psyche and wants and needs, I have decided that I will not give up and become a sad, single cat lady. I’m a dog lover anyway and there’s entirely to many other boys out there to let one or two keep me down. So, who knows, but I’m determined not to give up yet : )
Lesson learned: Curiosity killed the cat, but didn’t stop the girl from trying yet again.
Second date, we’ll call him Nick, took place at a local beer and pool place and I thought it had gone fairly well. Nick and I had several pleasant phone calls prior and upon meeting him, I really felt a connection to the guy. He was outdoorsy and had a good job, and we seemed like we had a lot in common. After our date I was confident in the call back.
After 4 or 5 days passing, my confidence had taken a major hit. No call, no text, no email of any kind. Now I had a significant dilemma, do I let it go (again) or do I try to initiate some kind of communication since I in fact actually wanted to see this guy again. After about a day of going back in forth, I was all to curious in why I was being rejected so I sent a short text asking what Nick was up to for the weekend? You know the saying, curiosity killed the cat-it didn’t… it just killed the self esteem. No return text, just a short email the next day explaining Nick had recently got out of a 5 year relationship and was not quite ready to start dating again and according to him we were not a “perfect match.” Hey Nick…if you aren’t ready to start dating again, try not joining a DATING website! Anyway, after much over analyze of the situation and some slight self-loathing and even a little insight into my own psyche and wants and needs, I have decided that I will not give up and become a sad, single cat lady. I’m a dog lover anyway and there’s entirely to many other boys out there to let one or two keep me down. So, who knows, but I’m determined not to give up yet : )
Lesson learned: Curiosity killed the cat, but didn’t stop the girl from trying yet again.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Post #6: Maybe this internet dating stuff isn’t half bad!
So, I finally went on my first blind-date. It was actually really fun. We didn’t end up going bowling but we did settle on miniature golf. I was entertained by the fact that we were both equally bad. (Either that or he was pretending to me in an effort to make me feel better.) Either way, I had a good time. It was a little difficult to play (or attempt to play) and get to know each other at the same time so we decided to walk around afterwards. My first impression of him was that he was pretty cute, tall (like I like them) and had a silly personality. The convo went pretty smoothly and I wasn’t able to detect any major red flags, although he was a little heard to read so I wasn’t able to get a good idea of whether or not he was very interested, which makes me a little nervous.
I ended the date early because I was only able to park for an hour and a half without getting a ticket and I thought it was best to leave him wanting a little more for next time. So now I get to be a girl and wait by the phone. That’s why cell phones are great; you don’t have to actually do that! (Can you imagine girls back in the day parking a chair next to the non-cordless phone on the wall waiting for a second date?) Oh, how technology is becoming my friend!
For comparison’s sake, I thought I would summarize date # 1’s pros and cons. (Sorry date #1-thank god this is anonymous or I have a feeling I would definitely not score a date # 2!
Pros:
Good sense of humor
Good looking/Tall
Smart/Self-sufficient
Has a good job
Lots of hobbies/keeps busy
Likes interesting/spicy food
Never married/or has had kids
Cons:
Family is not nearby (could be a pro, depends on how you look at it!)
Little distant
Parents divorced at an early age
He may be unemployed soon due to company going out of business
Lesson learned: When it comes to being an internet dating snob, you shouldn’t knock it till you try it-date #1 set quite the precedence for the next guy!
I ended the date early because I was only able to park for an hour and a half without getting a ticket and I thought it was best to leave him wanting a little more for next time. So now I get to be a girl and wait by the phone. That’s why cell phones are great; you don’t have to actually do that! (Can you imagine girls back in the day parking a chair next to the non-cordless phone on the wall waiting for a second date?) Oh, how technology is becoming my friend!
For comparison’s sake, I thought I would summarize date # 1’s pros and cons. (Sorry date #1-thank god this is anonymous or I have a feeling I would definitely not score a date # 2!
Pros:
Good sense of humor
Good looking/Tall
Smart/Self-sufficient
Has a good job
Lots of hobbies/keeps busy
Likes interesting/spicy food
Never married/or has had kids
Cons:
Family is not nearby (could be a pro, depends on how you look at it!)
Little distant
Parents divorced at an early age
He may be unemployed soon due to company going out of business
Lesson learned: When it comes to being an internet dating snob, you shouldn’t knock it till you try it-date #1 set quite the precedence for the next guy!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Post #5: So I have managed to score myself a first date…
After multiple emails from different guys and passing out my # to a few, I have managed to set my first date this weekend with (I will call him Jake-for a little bit of anonymity.) Jake and I spoke on the phone for an hour or so last night to cover a few of the basics. He seemed like a nice enough guy. So far his positives consist of having lots of hobbies and keeping himself busy, we are interested in the same types of TV shows, he’s got a degree/ has good career plans and appears to be intelligent. My cons are that he doesn’t seem like he has a super close relationship with his fam (which I am lucky enough to have ;) They are all out of state. He wasn’t asking me to many questions during our convo (which could have bee a result of my excessive rambling in an effort to avoid a lull in the coversation) but his emails were the same way, and our phone call left me more with a friend type feeling more then anything else. But hey-I haven’t actually even met the guy so who knows! I’m pulling for bowling on our date. It’s a great combo of having an activity to keep ourselves distracted while having the time to get to know each other better. I pretty much suck at bowling so at the very least I will be able to bring the entertainment-everyone likes someone who can laugh at themselves right! Plus, there’s usually beer if it gets super uncomfortable. Most importantly, it’s a very public place-so while bowling balls could be considered a weapon, the chances of actually being murdered are slim to none.
Lesson learned: It takes a TON of wk (and patience) for a girl to get herself a first date, it’s a wonder these guys are single!
Lesson learned: It takes a TON of wk (and patience) for a girl to get herself a first date, it’s a wonder these guys are single!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Post # 4: Manhunt VS Job Search one and the same…
OK, so it’s been a few weeks and I’m officially get fed up with the internet dating process. First if all, it is exhausting. Much like dating in general! The only other time in my life I felt similar was on a massive job search right after college. Really the two have amazing similarities! Check it out:
Step 1: Prescreen to narrow down jobs/dates.
Step 2: Application process. Dates get an email expressing interest as you hope for a response. Employers get a resume and cover letter.
Step 3: Elimination. Simultaneously you determine if the prospect is still a good fit while comparing that prospect to all the others. Polls of applicants are intermingled and some are kept while others are thrown out of the mixed because of lack of qualifications.
Step 4: Call back. If you are one of the chosen few, you have managed to receive a call asking you to participate in the interview process.
Step 5: Interview. Only after you have completed steps 1-4 you are in the presence of your date/job prospect. At this point, you are extremely nervous and competitive. And why shouldn’t you be really? The process has been lengthy and to fail at this point would feel like a giant waste of time! Questions are asked and answered all the while, the other individual is secretly judging you and determining you potential.
Step 6: Hired. You are now someone’s girlfriend or have obtained employment all the while contemplating… do I even really want this guy/job anymore or do I just not want to go through the process all over again!
Ahhhhhhh…I am seriously tired just writing about it. I know people say- but in the end it’s worth it and this is the only way to find your husband/career. But my goodness does it get tiring! I will prevail but in the meantime, I need a nap! This dating is serious business-and here I thought it was going be all fun and games!
Lesson learned…Dating is a full-time job and not for the faint at heart!
Step 1: Prescreen to narrow down jobs/dates.
Step 2: Application process. Dates get an email expressing interest as you hope for a response. Employers get a resume and cover letter.
Step 3: Elimination. Simultaneously you determine if the prospect is still a good fit while comparing that prospect to all the others. Polls of applicants are intermingled and some are kept while others are thrown out of the mixed because of lack of qualifications.
Step 4: Call back. If you are one of the chosen few, you have managed to receive a call asking you to participate in the interview process.
Step 5: Interview. Only after you have completed steps 1-4 you are in the presence of your date/job prospect. At this point, you are extremely nervous and competitive. And why shouldn’t you be really? The process has been lengthy and to fail at this point would feel like a giant waste of time! Questions are asked and answered all the while, the other individual is secretly judging you and determining you potential.
Step 6: Hired. You are now someone’s girlfriend or have obtained employment all the while contemplating… do I even really want this guy/job anymore or do I just not want to go through the process all over again!
Ahhhhhhh…I am seriously tired just writing about it. I know people say- but in the end it’s worth it and this is the only way to find your husband/career. But my goodness does it get tiring! I will prevail but in the meantime, I need a nap! This dating is serious business-and here I thought it was going be all fun and games!
Lesson learned…Dating is a full-time job and not for the faint at heart!
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