Its official, my internet dating subscription has come to end! Unfortunately, (or fortunately for blogging purposes) I have not met the man of my dreams. While I had fairly low expectations I have to admit I was pretty disappointed by the outcome. Out of the 5 men I pre-screened, re-screened, emailed, called, and arranged to meet, a strong mutual connection has yet to be made. I am really starting to understand why the most recent “Bachelor” ended up going home without a fiancé even while having 15 available women. I have managed to come out of this interesting phase of my life with slightly lower self-esteem, the ability to strongly question the normalcy of men in this world, a intense almost murderous hatred for any and all winking and 60 buckaroos lighter. Man, oh man am I turning into an internet-dating cynic! So there it is, I came, I saw and I virtually disappeared. (On the bright side, I didn’t catch any viruses ; ) JK-a lil internet humor!!!
There were some upsides to this little adventure of mine; I got to go on a couple fun dates (who knew there was indoor putt putt?) I learned a lot about the opposite gender and dating games (guys REALLY do not like emailing back and forth!) A few of the fella’s actual sent me perfectly respectable and at times flattering emails (thanks Momma for the pretty eyes.) Lastly and most importantly, I learned some things about myself and what I am and am not looking for.
The following is a list of things I am looking for:
*-An outdoorsy guy who likes to travel (European travel stories make me drool with jealousy and intrigue!)
*-A guy who has the unmentionables to call prior to the 1st date and also right after to say he had a good time (If you like someone, stop playing games and suck it up and call.)
*-A good sense of humor (If you don’t laugh at my outlandish and self-deprecating brand of humor, you gotsta go.) Extra points if you tell funny jokes or make me laugh!
*-Good manners (Don’t make me question whether you were born in a barn.) P.S-If your new women comes to your house for the first time, put the toilet seat down and clean your bathroom, your welcome not to but I can guarantee it’s going to be a quick date!)
*-A car, house, and decent job (come on, you have to have some standards.)
-Intellectual/well read (If ALL you talk about is your car, beer or sports, I’m super bored.)
*-Passion and hobbies (Doesn’t matter what they are-just have one or two!)
Some things I am not looking for: (or are not as important as I thought)
-Pretentiousness, smugness, excessive cockiness etc… (You may be rich, good-looking, semi famous, extremely talented or some combo but who really cares if you’re a total jerk face)
-Height (well, I manage to shave off a few inches at least!)
-A guy who doesn’t pay (At least on the 1st date. Come on guys, don’t give me any feminism BS-you do realize you still get paid more right?
-Someone who lives in a specific area of town (turns out there are interesting people all around the city, who knew?)
-A total texter, or person who is ALWAYS on his phone. (Hope that phone keeps you warm at night buddy!)
While my lengthy list may seem a little like, wow girl no wonder your single, I really, really don’t think my expectations are that high in the grand scheme of things. If they are, oh well because I have a lot to offer myself minus all the annoying baggage (I made sure to * all the things I feel I can offer as well.) As you can see, I have learned a lot in the last few months about myself and people in general. While I am walking a fine line of dating cynicism, I officially vow to not become jaded. The way I see it I have met 5 guys out of what, 5 million? So, I didn’t meet that perfect guy for me, he’s out there and I’m ever the more determined to find him, in my own time, by my own rules. It may not be on the internet but I have a feeling there’s more stories to tell…
Lesson Learned: Internet dating CAN be a waste of time and money but even if you don’t meet your soul mate, there are plenty of things to learn in the process.
Everything in life is a learning experience and it sounds like you learned a lot! Namely, you learned to see the humor in things, which isn't always easy.
ReplyDeleteOne thing's for certain, things never turn out the way you expect! While this may be the end of 'internet dating' (unless you plan to cough up another $60 bucks)it's the beginning of a new chapter, which i think you should title, "pulling pigtails, not just for little boys on the playground anymore"....do you see where I'm going with this?????
Let Smidge be a shining example to you: "Where there is great hope, there are miracles". Meaning, don't give up on men. I think finding the "right" guy might be harder than you initially expected, but perhaps that's a good thing. After all, it would be a little unsettling to think that you could just 'make it work' with any old jo shmo.You are looking for, and deserve someone extra special, and that sort of thing takes time. But the best things are worth waiting for!!!
Hey! We are the ones that are 60 bucks lighter (aren't we?)! Well, it was definitely worth it. Whatever happened to "pretty boy"--by the way? If you do the math (which I know you don't like)--the odds are against most people that are selective. Really---if Mr. Right is a one in a million kind of guy, you just need to hurry up and meet the other 999,999 idiots.
ReplyDeleteYa, you know---you might not have ever found out that you had such a talent for writing comedy, for one thing. And you have definitely used the experience to hone in on what you really DO want from a relationship. That's way more than lots of people learn by the time they are 30. Better to search forever for Mr. Right than to settle for Mr. Wrong, right? Hahah...that was confusing. The thing I got out of it was free (well, sorta free) comedy.
Hmmm...I wonder how much it would cost to sign you up for eHARMONY?