Remember late night cookie monster? Heeeeee's back! Read on for email #2. I let the 1st dumbass email slide, but I just couldn't resist responding to his futile 2nd attempt! Heres the convo word for word:
he said December 04
Hello. Do you believe in life after love? Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind. The other thing that comes to mind is chocolate chip cookies. You say you can cook. I've got a full glass of milk over here and no cookies. It is absolutely killing me. Ask yourself; what can you do for me about this predicament?
he said 10 hours ago
I noticed that you like ugly cute dogs. Do you like ugly cute men? I've never given it much thought, but people really do like pugs. Maybe if I got plastic surgery I could get a pug nose. Would you be more into me if I did that. Maybe I could do it myself. Full of ideas tonight.
you said Just Now
RE: Subject
My liking of ugly cute things stops at dogs, although at times, the words dogs and men can be somewhat interchangeable I suppose. I’m also not a huge fan of self-inflicted surgery, prob better to leave that to the professionals, wouldn’t you say? Speaking of professionals, with your tendency towards self mutilation-you might want to go see one. Take care of yourself, Mr. Beaverton!
Lesson learned: Wack jobs need not apply-especially those who mention surgery, knives, mutilation etc...
P.S- Date #4 this afternoon, keep you posted, hopefully this one can keep his wacko thoughts in check! If not, at least it makes for good reading : )
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Stupid Email #2
"Hello. Do you believe in life after love? Sorry, it was the first thing that came to mind. The other thing that comes to mind is chocolate chip cookies. You say you can cook. I've got a full glass of milk over here and no cookies. It is absolutely killing me. Ask yourself; what can you do for me about this predicament?"
This particular idiodic email was recieved at 2am on a Fri night.
Lesson Learned: Beware of late night losers. Replace milk with tequila and that sounds about right. This guy doesn't need a girlfriend, he needs a sponser!
This particular idiodic email was recieved at 2am on a Fri night.
Lesson Learned: Beware of late night losers. Replace milk with tequila and that sounds about right. This guy doesn't need a girlfriend, he needs a sponser!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday morning note…
I am going to post my latest email I received (verbatim.) I swear I did not alter this email whatsoever-I like when the boys just go ahead and write my blog for me, makes my life easier! So the following is just a taste of the men to choose from. I have to say, I’m not sure whether to completely disregard this obviously mass produced email or write back due to being both pretty clever as well as saying what I’m sure most guys (and girls really feel.) Let me know what you think… (P.S) I have yet to see his pics due to reading this on my wk computer (the pics don’t show up and they frown upon internet dating while on the clock) so I thought I’d get opinions before I check this dude out!
"Friday morning note...
Frequenting a dating homepage always seems like frequenting a bar with too many guys. Too many low-quality guys take aim at not-quite-enough high-quality women, and the result is utter failure for everyone concerned. The women's Inboxes get inundated. The men's Inboxes remain empty. The quality guy is drowned out by the clamour of the idiot. Any vaguely attractive woman has so many tongue-lolling introductory e-mails she can't filter through them all.
So even though dating sites favour the women, and though I'm at a biological loss here, so to speak, I will still do my little Bird of Paradise mating dance and try to attract a quality mate.
Now, there's nothing more tedious than some new, unknown guy droning on about how great he is. So I will try to outdo them all and paint myself as some sort of Adonis/ God's-Gift-To-Women. Here goes.
I am: well-read (mostly economics & history, a lot of classics); sincere (people close to me will always know how I feel about something); honest (I can't be bothered to lie; causes too much chaos); sweet (as in, I'm overly cute and have too many Ghibli and Pokemon paraphernalia around my house); athletic (I lift kettlebells all the time); outdoorsy (long hikes and car-camping, or even overnight trips on foot); well-traveled (been to 4 of the 7 ancient wonders of the world; been deported once); socially aware (no longer dump my used motor oil into the Willamette and got myself a compost bin); multi-lingual (can communicate in about four languages); moved to do something meaningful for the world (want to save global finance); family oriented (call the 'rents and the sibs all the time); lucky to have great friends (best in the world, though only a few of them live here); and, comfortable around others (can be socially acceptable and non-threatening, with enough preparation).
Ho pefully, I can: challenge you to be a better person (without me being a bitch about it); make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose (my sense of humour has been described as dry or witty); make you smile (cheese!); and, bring you romance (um... a bouquet of roses and a six-pack of 211 Steel Reserve?).
I think that's me. Somewhat. Perhaps. Maybe. Who knows?
So if you'd like to get to know me... perhaps by a few e-mails back and forth and then, tentatively, perhaps a coffee or a lunch date or two and moving toward, shock!, an adult beverage in a dank bar ... feel free to write back.
:-)
-g
ps. I normally work 6am to 1pm, hence the early hour of this note. -GCE"
Lesson Learned: Hey, I won’t knock the guy-he was right about most of it. (Except the part of women being able to be so picky.) I know realize that it’s just as exhausting for multiple reasons dating on the internet as in everyday life. I think I’m gonna marry myself like Sue Sylvester did on Glee!
"Friday morning note...
Frequenting a dating homepage always seems like frequenting a bar with too many guys. Too many low-quality guys take aim at not-quite-enough high-quality women, and the result is utter failure for everyone concerned. The women's Inboxes get inundated. The men's Inboxes remain empty. The quality guy is drowned out by the clamour of the idiot. Any vaguely attractive woman has so many tongue-lolling introductory e-mails she can't filter through them all.
So even though dating sites favour the women, and though I'm at a biological loss here, so to speak, I will still do my little Bird of Paradise mating dance and try to attract a quality mate.
Now, there's nothing more tedious than some new, unknown guy droning on about how great he is. So I will try to outdo them all and paint myself as some sort of Adonis/ God's-Gift-To-Women. Here goes.
I am: well-read (mostly economics & history, a lot of classics); sincere (people close to me will always know how I feel about something); honest (I can't be bothered to lie; causes too much chaos); sweet (as in, I'm overly cute and have too many Ghibli and Pokemon paraphernalia around my house); athletic (I lift kettlebells all the time); outdoorsy (long hikes and car-camping, or even overnight trips on foot); well-traveled (been to 4 of the 7 ancient wonders of the world; been deported once); socially aware (no longer dump my used motor oil into the Willamette and got myself a compost bin); multi-lingual (can communicate in about four languages); moved to do something meaningful for the world (want to save global finance); family oriented (call the 'rents and the sibs all the time); lucky to have great friends (best in the world, though only a few of them live here); and, comfortable around others (can be socially acceptable and non-threatening, with enough preparation).
Ho pefully, I can: challenge you to be a better person (without me being a bitch about it); make you laugh so hard milk comes out your nose (my sense of humour has been described as dry or witty); make you smile (cheese!); and, bring you romance (um... a bouquet of roses and a six-pack of 211 Steel Reserve?).
I think that's me. Somewhat. Perhaps. Maybe. Who knows?
So if you'd like to get to know me... perhaps by a few e-mails back and forth and then, tentatively, perhaps a coffee or a lunch date or two and moving toward, shock!, an adult beverage in a dank bar ... feel free to write back.
:-)
-g
ps. I normally work 6am to 1pm, hence the early hour of this note. -GCE"
Lesson Learned: Hey, I won’t knock the guy-he was right about most of it. (Except the part of women being able to be so picky.) I know realize that it’s just as exhausting for multiple reasons dating on the internet as in everyday life. I think I’m gonna marry myself like Sue Sylvester did on Glee!
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